Are you a Neet, Shid, Chav, or maybe something else?
Myself, I’m a DINKY – a member of the ‘double income no kids yuppie’ clan, of course.
A ‘yuppie’ in itself is an old acronym which has slipped into every day language, standing for ‘Young Upwardly-mobile Professional’. That is ‘yup’, but doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as sweetly as ‘yuppie’.
If you’re not down with the lingo of 2009, let me help you out.
A Neet refers to those ‘not in education, employment nor training’. A ‘Shid’ – the Ministry of Silly Acronyms’ latest creation - is someone ’still at home and in debt’.
And the most famous of them all, a Chav: lovers of council houses and violence.
According to the WWW (World wide web) there are something in the region of one million acronyms in use today.
Gone are the days when full sentences were necessary – now full conversations can be carried out in a series of grunts and four-to-six letter words.
Leading the way in the wonderful world of short cuts is middle class offices.
I guess we’ve all come across a TICTAC or two, and not the minty two calorie variety either. TICTAC stands for Turnaway If Criticism, Take All Credit, referring to those who do just that and run away when things go wrong but lap up all the praise whenever possible.
If you’re a hard grafter, there is nothing more annoying than the GEKIS employee who gets paid the same as you. Whilst your reward for ambition and being conscientious is a never ending pile of work, the GEKIS does very little and there is no comeback in terms of performance or reward.
A GEKIS, just in case you’ve not worked it out as of yet, is of course someone who Goes Early - Kids In School.
Perhaps the most cringeworthy acronym of all time is TNIIT – There’s no I in team – a phrase met with a chorus of groans at those team building exercises in the Lake District.
Some acronyms, meanwhile, have been with us so long that they need no introduction, such SOS (save our souls), FOC (free of charge) or even BOGOF (buy one get one free).
Next time somebody asks what I’m doing with my life, I might just describe myself as a TRANNY (Trainee reporter at Newport, obviously). Maybe that will catch on.
