Dear Newport, Well, I have worked and lived in Newport for two years and this week I began my new job on the Shropshire Star.
Having come from Dublin and spent a short spell in Wolverhampton I suddenly found myself in a small Shropshire market town, one could say I made some notable observations. Some funny and others even funnier.
I was living on High Street and it was a pleasure to live in the town. It is clean, most people smile back and the canal area is a joy to walk.
But during my time here I have seen and heard things that have had me bowled over with laughter, things you would just never get the chance to see or hear in a city.
Three weeks ago I had a friend over from Ireland and we decided to go to Central Square nightclub.
We were standing outside smoking and these two girls came and stood beside us. You know the kind.
And this was the actual conversation between them, which left us laughing for the rest of the weekend.
Girl 1: “I think this skirt is too short…”
Girl 2: “Look, I told you, you don’t want to be buying your own drinks ALL night…”
Each evening I leave work and make my way to Somerfield to buy something to eat. And every evening I chuckle at a sign they have on their express till.
Now, bear in mind their opening hours are 8am - 9pm.
The sign reads: “Somerfield can NOT sell alcohol before 8am or after 11pm…”
Well or course you can’t Somerfield…you’re not open.
Then under this they actually wrote ‘we apologise for any inconvenience caused.’
But what makes my day is this. Obviously a shopper has questioned the sign with one of the employees, who then stuck a piece of card alongside the sign which reads: ‘Our opening hours have not changed.’
I was standing in the Barclay’s Bank tunnel waiting to use the cash point and I joined a queue of about four people. I don’t know what the elderly gentleman was doing at the cash point, but it was taking him a rather long time to get money out.
By this point about another three people joined behind me.
With this, the lady who was next to use the cash point turned around, looked at the long queue and said: “This queue is far too long…I’m going somewhere else.” Before storming off.
Joyful moments that you just don’t get elsewhere.
Newport has been a pleasure to work and live in,
Slán agat (Irish for “good bye”)
Jason Lavan.
