In a state of trepidation I passed the gravestones in the window of Newport & District Funeral Service and pushed open the door.
With more than a hint of anxiety I sat down and waited for funeral director Margaret Smith to give me a glimpse into her working life.
What was I going to see? What are the staff like?
“You’re very welcome,” came with a friendly handshake as Margaret sat down and quashed my nervousness after I passed the time by reading a leaflet called planning your funeral.
The room has an almost calming effect, full with flowers, pictures and even a children’s play area.
Without hesitation, Margaret explained I would not be witnessing anything that went on in the building, because of strict confidentiality, but I would be taken to Stafford crematorium.
Margaret then went on to explain why she entered the profession.
She said:?“I had a great fear over death that got out of hand and a GP, who was a friend of my parents, thought there was a vacancy in Wolverhampton for a PA and naively I went to work there as a secretary, but within a few days the fear subsided.
“It’s the kind of profession that’s shrouded in mystery and myths. People have concerns with cremation, with the thought that they will not be getting their loved one back as they are under the impression that all cremations are carried out together at the end of the day.
“But nowadays many crematoria have open days so you can go and inspect how the system works. People then see that they do get their loved ones back,” she said.
Before I got there, almost a days work had taken place. A call was made at 3.10am from a family requesting them to come to their home. Out of bed and into the car, Margaret made her way to their home and back to the office in Newport, before making it back to bed again at 5.15am.
But come the afternoon, I was taken to the crematorium and along the way I wondered how someone can regularly deal with distressed families.
Margaret said: “It’s about trying to help people if you can, that’s the most important thing of all - it’s caring for them. We travel that first pathway with them, which is the most difficult time in their lives and it’s a privileged position to be in.
“We are strangers in their lives and they are asking us to take care of the most important person in their lives.
“I see people at the worst time in their lives but we have made so many friends from it so we are lucky.
“A lady had dropped a cake into the office and a gentleman had called in because he was struggling with his day.
“And 11 months after losing a wife and mother, a family called in to introduce us to a new addition to the family - a beautiful baby boy. It’s so special that they would think of coming back to see us.
“These people have become our friends and since our arrival in Newport the townspeople have accepted us as we are. To so many we are eternally grateful for their trust, it is, and always will be, an honour and privilege to act on their behalf during such a sad time in their lives,” she added.
Arriving at the crematorium, I was shown by staff how their day unfolds. The process takes about an hour and a half before the ashes are ready to be given to the family or scattered in the garden.
It was then a dash back to the office so another family could be met to arrange a funeral.
But Newport Funeral Service has also bucked the trend with Margaret becoming the first lady in the county to open her own funeral home and when her daughter, Amanda, joined the team, they were the first mother and daughter team in the county - and only the third in England.
The business on High Street is also something of a family affair with son-in-law Darren working for her too.
But taking on such a male dominated profession was not easy, as Margaret explained, when she opened in town in 1991 there were some in the industry who said she wouldn’t last.
“The biggest regret with the funeral profession is that more ladies were not taken into it. I have never thought that we are better than the men but we are another option as sometimes a grieving lady feels a bit more comfortable with another lady to talk to.
“I admire the gentlemen in the profession and I would like to see more woman get into it,” said Margaret.
But the job is not without some light heartedness. She added: “A family, including a six-year-old grandson, attended the funeral of their beloved father.
“The next day the little boy’s rabbit died and he asked if he could bury it in the garden just like granddad.
“With tears in his eyes, he carried his little bundle to the graveside and said a few words at the edge. He then bent down, placing the rabbit into the grave using similar words he heard the Minister say the day before.
“‘In the name of the Father, and of the Son and into the hole he goes. Amen.’”
To contact Newport Funeral Service call 01952 820667.
By Jason Lavan